So, I was too busy to come up with a topic to actually think about today; but I refuse to not post every day. So, I’ll try and give you a run down of my day. (And I know what you’re thinking, how in Sam Hell is she too busy to come up with a topic when we’ve seen all the random jank she talks about?!?! I know, friends… I’m ashamed too)
10:40 AM: Get woken up to kitty clawing my face; something he does sporadically throughout the night. Silently say a prayer of rejoice/thanksgiving that he will be spayed and declawed tomorrow morning, and decide to let him have his moment. *If you’re wondering why HE is getting spayed, feel free to ask, its a great story.*
11:00 AM: Drink some questionable coffee the parents left sitting out, realize about 30 minutes later that there must be a laxative in said Colombian Roast, decide to skip on the breakfast. Instead, I choose to watch Out Cold. You know its going to be a good day when you start out with Zach Galifinakis (Man of my dreams…)
12:30 PM: Finish the 49320 loads of laundry that have been piling up in my month’s stay at home. Its not like the MOMster would do anything sweet/motherly like do my laundry anyway; so I just suffered until it’s time to hit the dusty trail for My Miserable House. I also may or may not have broken the new washing machine, and we’re just hoping my parents think its their fault. I should be able to make a quick break away, they’ll never know.
12:30-4:00 PM: Organize the disaster zone that is my room/closet, pack my giganto suitcase, 3 duffel bags, giant tote, backpack, and laundry basket, place them in my car… which means clean out the car. In FREEZING weather. No seriously, it’s freezing in Georgia. And this hot mess didn’t have the sense to put on shoes when she loaded the car. Really? I’ll never live to see 30. Or if I do, it will be with frost-bitten appendages. We southerners do not know how to deal with this weather.
4:00 PM- 6:00 PM: Tell the MOMster to get a life, go to Wal-Mart, get eyebrows waxed. Not at Wal-Mart though… That would probably cause some kind of fungus or eye disease. Speaking of eye disease, I learned that if you get water in your eye in Africa, it will give you diarrhea. Nightmares… Anyway, come home with a red face and some new over-priced crappy make up… Fo free.
6:00-7:00 PM: Make my OWN dinner. At my last night at home. I swear they’re itching to get rid of me. Then they’ll cry and whine and bitch about me “never coming home” when I come home all the time. I know parents love their kids and all, but I’ve been gone for 3 years… It’s not like you miss the pitter-patter of my moody and food-consuming, pay-per-view buying, grocery money-wasting, credit card-stealing feet. Please get a life, you’re suffocating mine…
7:00-8:00 PM- Watch NATURE on GPTV (Georgia Public Television, currently known as GPB, or Georgia Public Broadcasting… but I don’t like change) with the kitty while he tries to catch birds on the screen. Shame that he’s going to wake up tomorrow afternoon with no claws and no idea what is going on. It’ll be like Memento, but with a cat.
8:00-Now: Watch Parenthood (excellent movie, especially the kid who runs around with a bucket on his head and bangs the walls… plus I have a thing for Steve Martin… Meow) followed by the Office. Then I fed the cat like 9 treats which apparently is terrible for them because thats like feeding a cat 9 McDonalds Double Cheese– which sounds more like my heaven than hell– and they can’t digest it all. But hey, he’s getting his claws and his mangina taken out, he deserves some treats! Now I’m blogging… Not just out of necessity but because I think everyone needs to know how amazingly worthless my day was.
I’m heading back to the Promised Land tomorrow… REAL adventures will soon begin. Sorry if this post was a big fat let-down; I’m getting more and more readers every day, and I’ll probably have to do some damage control after this crap. Until then, I’ll leave you with a video or something to make me feel like I’m sharing something? It’s kitty’s favorite.
Peace and Buh-lessings; Peace and Buh-lessings.